Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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