I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
