Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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