Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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