Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
