he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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