Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you inspire me to be a worse person
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
