They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
