happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
