Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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