Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
