so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
