Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
