talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
