She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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