this is something i pride myself on being below average for
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
