Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
