He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
