New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize