Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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