Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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