Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize