if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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