how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
