I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
