Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
