I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
