And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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