Where is the hickey?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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