i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
