So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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