Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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