put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
