talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
