I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize