Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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