the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
