she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
