how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
