You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
