As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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