What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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