No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
