can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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