I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
