It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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