I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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