Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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