u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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