I love black thongs
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
