you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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