Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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