Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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