I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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