just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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