Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
