Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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