I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
