i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
