Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
