My sheets look like a crime scene.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize